Thursday, January 31, 2008

Looking Good

It is often said that wars happen because of clash of cultures. Because people don't know the folks across oceans or land masses. Men fight to eliminate other men, ignorant of the fact that they both need each other. Women fight too, but they don't often take part in the wars as much as they cause them.

If you look at it closely (but not close enough), men wage wars all the time. Any economic function we are part of requires us to out-beat and often kill opponents in a surreal way. If your company's value proposition is to be the market leader in some vague paradigm, it essentially means that the company wants to make several smaller companies go bankrupt. It is as much a war as anything else. So, why is a big fuss made out of the so called wars? May be because of the graphics involved. You know, red and other colors. Not to mention the sound. I would love to see a silent war before I die. I just can't bear to imagine the noise that is associated with a typical war. It's high time technologists focus on building weapons which don't make any sound and kill the victim before he knows he got hit. Mankind certainly deserves a nobler death than getting shattered by mortar shells.

Strangest part of the wars often is that nobody knows who the real enemy is. It is often a country or a militant group which is an enemy but nobody really knows what they are fighting against. For a recent example, Americans thought they were fighting Iraq. Well, Iraq still exists and people often get confused why does it still exist if everybody agrees that the war was won. The real problem was that Saddam Hussain got killed by the time most people realized there was a war. Talking about Iraq war, a recently published book called "Curveball" argues that it was a taxi driver of Iraq living in Germany who caused all the mess. It is a pretty interesting tale but as useless as most other interesting tales. Things which are useful are often not interesting. Do you remember the "boring" spectacled girl from kindergarten who always gave you her notes when you needed to "use" them?

So, why do men wage wars? Historically, they did so for wealth, wine and women. Alexandar waged several wars and so did Ghazni. They did so because they knew of nothing else to do. They wanted glory and power. Did they get what they needed at the end? Yes, but the only catch was that their needs changed. It took Uncle Bob around 2000 years to figure out the cleanest way to attain glory and power. He chose to call it Capitalism while he was picking his nose in a bathtub.

What's all this got to do with looking good? War is not a topic which fits under a title like "looking good". Yeah, but only if wars could have looked good, I wouldn't be such a worried man. Blood hurts. And so do all the other things you don't want but happen to you.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Zero




Indians are driven by numbers. Life has never been the same for us ever since Aryabhatta invented the zero. Not less than 3-4 lakhs of math and engineering graduates are churned out of colleges whenever someone sneezes in palem. It is just but a small proof of the structure of an average Indian brain which has more mathematics in it than neurons. Ever heard of the story of the grand father of a friend who never went to school but could multiply two 4 digit numbers before the calculator does it? Well, it could very well be the gift of your own grand father!


So, what does this innate love for numbers really mean? It is statistically proven somewhere in madagaskar that people who are really good at math are not really good at sex. Ah, it may just be a forceful agenda of the west. (You know, "They" always want to bully "Us") It's no real secret that an average american has lesser abilities with numbers than Andrew. By the way, Andrew is the name of the monkey of my Norwegian friend. No, Andrew is not the pet. It is the petter, if thats even a word! Well, who really cares what statistical research really proves? They even proved that cigarette is harmful. Come on, are you kidding? There are lies, more lies and then there are statistics.


Actually, there is a bigger point i need to make. It is not about zero but it is definitely about India. It is about our statistics in the game we all love. Cricket in India is bigger than football in UK or basketball in US. It is the sport which makes a 80 year old jump out of his deathbed. So, what do statistics say?

Country Win % in Test Matches Till Date
Australia 46.6%
England 34.7%
SouthAfrica 33.6%
WIndies 32.3%
Pakistan 30.7%

Source: Cricinfo


Well, India is not in top five. Even Srilanka is ahead of us. Only Newzealand, Bangaldesh and Zimbambwe are behind us.

Yes, Love is Blind!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Breeze

He dreams. Walks long into the night. Wind blowing at 45 degrees to his face. He sees smoke erupt from behind the trees. He choses to walk away. Light scares him. Darkness is his abode. Silence breaks into two. One part leaves his shadow empty.

He is wide awake. Walks down the street in the snow. Wind chill blowing straight into his face. He hears shouts from inside a house. He choses to walk away. Noise scares him. Good mood is his abode. All of a sudden, he slips and the ipod breaks into two. One part leaves the other empty.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

4 AM

A duck is staring at the sky
It wants a last cup of coffee
Or a golden key to unlock the air
It wants to listen
See what is missing and put it back there!

May be it's not the key and the coffee,
All it really needs is
a
hello!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Kabul Express


A movie released in 2006 based on an Indian journalist duo's adventure in Afghanistan. A very tightly knit screenplay which leaves no room for the audience to catch a breath. The actor who played the Pakistani army officer turned taliban terrorist is the best part of the movie. Having said that, it is impossible to imagine the movie without the silly humor of Arshad Warsi. A strongly recommended watch for people who want do a quick 101 course on the reality of life of Afghans.

My favorite dialogue of the movie:

Pakistani/Talib Terrorist: "Hum to kabse keh rahe hain, Madhuri Dixit do aur Kashmir Lo"
Indian Journalist: (breaks into laughter) .."arey woh toh shaadi karke america chali gayi"
Pakistani/Talib: "hmm...yahi hota hai....humara jo bhi acha hota hai woh ghoom fir ke wahin chala jata hai"

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Truth and Silence

Aldous Huxley said this in 1959...

"And it seems to me perfectly in the cards that there will be within the next generation or so a pharmacological method of making people love their servitude, and producing … a kind of painless concentration camp for entire societies, so that people will in fact have their liberties taken away from them but will rather enjoy it, because they will be distracted from any desire to rebel by propaganda, brainwashing, or brainwashing enhanced by pharmacological methods."


Heard of the Outsourcing? Yeah, Aldous also said this about opinion-building...

"Great is truth, but still greater, from a practical point of view, is silence about truth. By simply not mentioning certain subjects... totalitarian propagandists have influenced opinion much more effectively than they could have by the most eloquent denunciations."


Strange how human thoughts at certain part of space and time can very well be iconic reflections on some state of affairs they were never part of!

Wish

Wish you a wonderful new year.
Hope you achieve all your goals. If not, there is always next year! :)

For all the creative professionals trying to have a credible year, i wish you have an incredible year!!