Focus

I realised this today evening. I have no real focus. The only focal point in my life, if anything exists, is my bed. I make sure i make it to my bed post midnight everyday. Well, that's a sad focus! Kidding apart, lack of focus is what i have found that kills the spirit of many of my acquaintances/friends who are otherwise very keen on making it big. People are ambitious, confident, full of dreams but many of the dreams fall apart just due to one single reason. Lack of focus. The problem is much more serious than one tends to realise. Dreaming is one thing and living upto them is completely another. One needs to strike a balance and that is possible only if one has some "real" focus in life! ........Huh, blogging is so easy!

beach...

Where land meets water
Where earth meets air
Where body meets mind
Where space meets time
We like to be on one side, and look at the other!

-(The above lines have been copied from somewhere)

p.s: The just expired weekend saw me enjoy the sea music of murud&janjeera. Kashid beach is my new found love. Am sure that the place is going to see a lot more of me :D. For those interested, pics will be put up soon. Keep lurking! :)

Death and Consciousness!

"Death". What does it really mean? Does it all end with death? If it's obviously yes(or is it not?), what's the purpose of anything that i do? Are the day-to-day struggles to prove one's worth and the superficial things that i do in order to attain that so-called "pleasure", sum up to life? To understand death, i guess i need to understand life better. What is life? Emotions. Life is all about emotions, isn't it? You know you are living because you react when something happens. The reaction can be absolutely any feeling depending on what caused that reaction. Happy or Sad depends on where exactly you are on the time-space curve. A person who lacks emotions is as good as dead. You got to react when something happens to you. Reaction doesn't mean a loud one. It can be a very subtle one and intangible to others. But, it got to be there.


There is plenty of literature available on consciousness & death. So, I went to wikipedia to read some of it. The website: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death

And there is something very striking that i found on the above site.

The website says, When death is imminent.....

Physical death is a progressive process, during which there are some signs that usually indicate that death is imminent. Not all of the following changes occur, nor do they necessarily occur in any particular order, as the body shuts down during the dying process.

* The dying individual may become increasingly tired and sleepy, and may be difficult to arouse (lethargy).

* The individual may become confused much of the time and may no longer recognize familiar persons, places, or objects.

* Hearing and vision may become impaired, and speech may be slurred, difficult to understand, or nonsensical.

* A few dying individuals become restless or very anxious and move about frequently in the bed, pull at the bed clothes or bedding (linen clutch), and reach out.

* The person may experience hallucinations.

* Less nourishment will be required, and the person’s intake of food and water will diminish. Difficulty in swallowing (dysphagia) may also occur.

* The person may sweat profusely.

The fact is, I keep doing some of these many-a-times. Does it mean i keep dying? Then may be am being reborn everyday. Each day starts with my birth and ends with my death. And my performance on each day decides my fate on the next day. And someday, i will retire. After that day, there will be no rebirth.



p.s: On a serious note, I am not sure if i am alive. I don't react to many things anymore. I just duck and hide. The news of the death of someone i know but don't really know, confuses me to no end. I don't know how should i react. The feeling of guilt is the only reaction that i feel. And the guilt is because i never had any reaction in the first place.

Then, i got here...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consciousness. Am still reading it!

So much to read and so little time..............

Idea!

I had a strange but good idea today morning! A brief description of the kind of dog work that i do for a living will help you better understand the genesis of the idea. The company that i work for earns lots of it's revenues by using Microsoft's Office and Google's Search engine. That implies that i use a lot of MS Office (Excel mostly) or Google engine most of the time. I also worked for an investment banking support team earlier which involved mulling over lots of financial reports (PDF's).

If you are smart (technologically speaking), you would have by now guessed what am i trying to get to. If not, don't worry. May be you are just having a bad day! The idea that i had this beautiful morning was that the Acrobat PDF's can be embedded with the Microsoft Office. i.e If the table in the PDF was actually an excel object earlier, the table can be edited at ease. And, the text in the PDF can be editable too! Will it save any time or add any value? I guess yes. I wonder if there any such opensource applications already available. Any linux geeks reading this blog may kindly reply to this.

So, what's all the fuss about? Nothing much really. One of my friends asked me to write something on the blog. And this is all i could manage for the boring tuesday afternoon at office. It also feels good to talk about technology ideas and especially so, if you are a dumb ass with technology!

I wish i had the ability to write long and interesting blogs and that's my only wish in life right now. I feel like such a dumb idiot when i lack topics for blogs. Am i really that dumb? I guess no. I think am just plain simple and don't believe in writing complicated blogs which confuse the readers to no end. I too have my share of opinions on all kinds of so called "important" issues of my profession, my country, my favourite sport and the likes but i prefer to keep them to my own. I like being involved in an informal dialouge with a friend about the government's new sick idea of extending reservations but am not really the kind of a person who would write a blog on it. May be am just too lazy. That ends the matter and today's blog. Have a nice day!

You are not alone!

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone...


-Lyrics from Michael Jackson song "You are not alone"!!

Holi!

It's holi today. I just got up from my bed and for the first time ever had this strange urge of writing my blog. I actually created this blog long time back. But, that was out of peer pressure!
Here i am back again with some original inspiration. Straight from the heart!

So what do i write now? I have read blogs of all kinds with all kinds of themes. Did i really like any? I guess i liked blogs with lots of pictures. Pictures tend to speak a lot more than words!
But, i don't want to create just a photoblog! I want words too. Lot of them. Words sometimes cause a lot of confusion. But, i guess i like confusion. If you are confused, you atleast know you are thinking! Anyways, am not a photography enthusiast to create a photoblog. Atleast not until now.

Life after passing out of college has been strange. The initial months were traumatic! Getting up early to reach office on time has been a struggle! I tried changing companies just to avoid the mad rush. But, i realised the rush is mad everywhere. There is just no escape! But things have settled now, atleast for sometime. My new office is right on seashore and that makes life more pleasant! I walk up to the sea anytime i want. I guess it's the best perk any company can offer me! How can i not write about the bombay local trains! It's an experience i love. You get to see the human emotions in their crudest form in a jampacked local train! A bombay local train is a snapshot of real world! Limited resources and unlimited want of the inhabitants! All it results in is a tiresome journey! Reaching destination is important but journey is as important. And not everybody reaches their destination. Do they?

Spontaneous work is often better than well-thought out scripts! It's long time since i tasted my creative juices and they r just pouring right now! My guitar is broke and dusty and is looking at me with a sad face.....I just can't leave it alone like that! Am off the PC now and i won't get back here until i fix it. Don't assume that am a guitarist. Let's just say am still in the process.

Time

.................
........................
.............................
................................
.......................................
clock is ticking..............................
.............................................................
................................
...........................................
......................clock is still ticking..................
...............................................
...............................................
...........time is running away.......................
.........................................................
....................................................
.............darkness is awake...................................
...................................................................
........................................................am thirsty.........
.............................................................................................
..........................................................................
...................................................................................
.......................................................am i still................here?
...........................................................................................................................
.............................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
.......................................................r u still reading?!!!!