Forgetful

I have always been forgetful by nature. I forget to remember the names of so many important people that i cannot recollect how many of them did i really forget. Anyway, i realized today morning while i slipped on the stairs that i do not think in my mother tongue anymore. A little litmus test to understand what language does a man think in is this: Throw him off-balance without his notice, the sudden squeal that comes out is the exact sound of the language he belongs to. Well, my sound was this: "geesh!!"
Of all the things i could have said - i said "geesh". I do not even know if it is a word. Probably, am not thinking in a language anymore. Or more realistically, i do not think anymore! After the powerful early morning occurrence, i decided to think in my natural language - telugu, the whole day. It was a tough exercise, believe me. The couple of client calls definitely didn't help the matter. I was trying to think in telugu - translate it to hindi (which became my second tongue after the long years in bombay)and then articulate it in english. It was a journey on the razor edge and i was playing by the ear. Well, it wasn't a pleasant experience and i cursed myself later for having actually done that. However, it revealed to me that am still capable of thinking in all my basic languages. And am glad at the thought.

For tomorrow - i want to think only in symbols.
Godspeed.