Below is an alleged letter from a 10 year old to Scott Adams (of Dilbert's fame) which finally resolved all his worries about future of mankind and the planet!
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Dear Mr. Scott Raymond Adams,
I am a 10-year-old boy who is an avid fan of your comic series, Dilbert. I know that it has achieved immense fame by the fact that it is shown in over 1600 newspapers around the world (at least, that was the way it was the last time I checked). I still want to know if the Dogbert's New Ruling Class (DNRC) newsletter is still available for new subscribers. I really wish to subscribe, even though it is only tri- or quad-annually, because it seems like it's better to have a regular update about your works and some random stories about people who send e-mails to you than to have to wait for the next book.
Now that I'm done with a proper introduction, I'll move on to more important matters. I like all of your books, but I'm especially intrigued with your philosophical works, God's Debris and its sequel, The Religion War. I like the way that you can exploit Occam's (I hope I spelled that right) Razor to the extent that it sounds refreshing and new, and yet doesn't seem like you're insane. I know that there's a warning in the introduction/prologue of God's Debris about how the ideas in the book are powerful and are not suitable for people under 14. I think that that is complete mish-mash, because, as you said in Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel, people know what to expect in a book. You (probably) won't get sued or ridiculed because somebody's religious parents found out that their children doubt their beliefs now because of something in a book. Actually, the law protects you from that kind of stuff because of the first amendment, which says that everybody has the right to practice freedom of religion, unless it is designed to hurt others, like a cult. You definitely aren't gathering a cult (are you?) right now, so you're completely free to do whatever you want in a book.
However, and this may sound contradicting to what I said in the last paragraph, the ideas in that book are extremely powerful. I wonder if you could incorporate hypnosis into a book, because it seems like you, a trained hypnotist, did. I was completely and totally transfixed as I read those books. The best part is, your (or rather, the Avatar's) explanation of the universe completely makes sense because we can't judge god! That is the one thing that keeps your idea alive! You simply don't know what god thinks like because he is another being, totally different from human beings.
There is only 1 counter to your idea of the universe, and that is if there is an omnipotent god, he would still need something to create him. In a sense, that other entity is the real god, and the one that we worship is only a subordinate. Then, that entity would need another thing to create it, and so it would span infinitely through lesser and greater. The same thing is true about the shape of the universe. I believe that the universe is finite, because if it was infinite, it would have to travel faster than the speed of light and that would rip a hole in the space-time continuum and so would suck all light outside of the universe at infinite speeds as well, forming a huge counter-vacuum that would make the universe uninhabitable because every shred of matter that formed would be sucked outside the universe through the hole in the space-time continuum and cause the universe to oscillate at, again, infinite speeds between infinity and nothing. I could bore you all day with my talks about the universe and all of that uncertain stuff, and I know that you need the whole day to write back to all to your e-mails and draw your comics.
I am an atheist, but my Grandmother is a Christian and my Grandfather is a Buddhist. That is why I could adapt so easily to the idea that god is really only probability and matter. It makes perfect sense!
I have some last questions for you. I would be extremely pleased if you could answer them for me in the e-mail that you (might!) send back. They are as follows:
• Is it true that you have involuntary muscle spasms in your drawing hand?
• Is it true that you once had speaking problems?
• In Pleasanton, California, is it true that you own a restaurant named Stacey's Café ? If so, please note that I lived there before and so would like directions to the place.
• Do you really believe that affirmations can make you achieve your goals, no matter how impossible they are?
Thank you for your time taken reading this e-mail.
Bobby [name withheld]
P.S. Get Google everything. It's better and more hassle-free. I have the Google Taskbar for my laptop and i can open every single thing that you could imagine from it, including the daily strip for Dilbert.
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ROTFL!!!
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